I’ve Always Wanted A Job

I’ve always wanted a job. I wanted to clock in and clock out. Of course this job was going to either be a mermaid or a circus performer, but still it was a job. I fell for the go to college and get a job lie; hook, line, and sinker. Deep in my gut, I knew it was too good to be true. Still, I went to the University of North Carolina at Greensboro on the NC Teaching Fellows Scholarship plus a little money from my debutante with Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

Looking back on my college years, I can say that all 4 were superficial. I was there because it was socially acceptable and what I was told I should do. I found activities to do in school to occupy my time. I didn’t get too involved with things around campus. And graduation day felt like someone had opened the gate and told me to run and never come back.

So, I started looking for a job. I didn’t care what kind of job as long as it paid. Internally, I was battling with what I truly wanted to do versus what my parents drilled into my head. For several years, I found myself spiraling and bouncing from job to job. I felt inadequate. I felt stupid. I felt embarrassed. But I’m an actress. I put on a smile and bounced around like life was fine. I even enrolled in graduate school at one point. What the hell was I thinking?

I could live in the land of Should’ve, Would’ve, Could’ve. Living in the present is a much better place. Wanting a job opened the doors for all types of foolishness. I wasn’t specific in what I wanted. I didn’t know what I wanted. I just wanted to work. I just wanted a JOB.

Fast forward to the present day. Yes, there are a few moments in which I wish things went differently. I wish I could tell a story about having a college sweetheart, having an internship, being involved in student government, or landing a dream job after college. Truth is, I don’t have those stories. What I do have are experiences that have opened a much bigger door for me: Entrepreneurship.

All of the ups and downs, job hopping, and random gigs introduced me to a myriad of people. These people opened my eyes to see that I had gained skills that my peers had not and probably will never gain. They helped me understand that entrepreneurship is a pathway with endless possibilities and I should pursue it.

Here I am at 33 years old, shaking off the last bit of the dust from my 20s. I’m ready to start my own company. I’m ready to have more than just a job. I’m ready to step into being MYSELF with no regrets.

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